Farewell India
on Richard Johnson (India), 24/Mar/2011 06:53, 34 days ago
So long, India. It's been real. (Sometimes a little too real, like that time you sent yourmonkey scoutinto our bedroom.)We enjoyed your food. Sure, it's oilier than a walrus reunion. And yes, once in a while we took your food and turned it intoour foodor at least intoMiddle Eastern food, which was a half-step toward home. But nobody complained about theTiffins. And I love what you do witheggs.And you were a great teacher. I arrived knowinglakhs and croresof nothing. You tried toteach me cricket. Didn't take, but nice try. You imbued me with the zen of aworld without toilet paper, and now I'm your ardent disciple. You coaxed me through the motions of thewiggle-wobble-bobble-waggle, and although I thought you were a pain in the neck, you didn't give up on me.Sure, there were some scary moments: First ride in anauto-rickshaw; first encounter withColossus the Ox; my near-overdose on porkin Ghorkaland.But mostly we laughed. Okay I laughed, but I'm sure you got the joke. Like all those times you told me how much you regretted thatmy train was late. C'mon, did you really regret that? Or that time you tried to convince me it wascold enough to wear a tuque. Nice try, but you don't know jackfruit about winter.But speaking sincerely now, there are a few things I will miss about you, such as:#5: Roommates who make it their livelihood to eat flying insects, including but not limited to this frog. Hats off to you, sir. You are to aerial bugs what I am to terrestrial bowls of potato curry.#4: How remarkably easy it is to get my picture in the paper. (Especially easy if I sit in front of a banner.)#3: Helpful signs regarding where to pee (and the adorable Oriya script)#2: The feral taste of local milk. Don't know how I'll go back to drinking that ice-cold, sanitized, homogenized, flavourless stuff back home. (Oh look, they'remilking the buffalo; it must be tea time.)#1: Hearing my coworkers pronounce‘Google’ as ‘Googley.’ I’ve heard it two thousand times and it still makes me giggle. And that's what I'll miss most about you India: You quickly became a familiar place, gentle and warm, friendly and tasty. And you were always, always, just a little bit Googley.