Did you ever wonder?
on George Hamilton (Jamaica), 31/Mar/2011 17:44, 34 days ago
“Ton, Ton” shout the doctors as their coasters speed along Old Hope Road towards downtown Kingston.Once upon a time I thought that "ton" was an abbreviation for "Downtown", a word that had to be shortened because by the time the (con)doctor reached the end of the word "Downtown" the coaster bus would be already out of reach half a block further down the road. But I was wrong, the "doctors" weren't saying "town" at all.I did not comprehend that the coaster doctors were simultaneously exhibiting gender, cultural and religious sensitivities.I never realized this until I took the CUSO-VSO sponsored gender workshop and learned about gender.Gender in particular was the missing link for me.Now that I am gender sensitized I can at last fully understand the true depth and niceness of“Ton”. And I want to share the secret.I volunteer in the capital city ofJamaica, Kingston.After the gender workshop Irealized that Kingston possesses a gender-unfortunate handle. Note that” King” prefix.Why wasn’t it called Queenston?But that’s just as unacceptable at the other end of the monarchical spectrum.Clearly the gender sensitive name for Kingston has got to be Monarchston.But this is culturally insensitive because the Tainos inhabited Jamaica nearly fifteen thousand years before European colonizers passed through.Monarchston should really be Tainoston.Going further back in time, the Tainos weren’t always in Jamaica, so we try out for size various town names including Iguanaston . . . .(Hey - you humans are living in Iguanaston; or as I like to call it -Myton.)One "ton" name that might have worked for a while would have been Bougainvilleaton, but that colorful plant was imported from the Pacific not that long ago - three centuries roughly. The iguanas have been in Jamaica much longer.The bougainvilleas are much nicer -looking than an iguana so that's why I slipped in a photograph. But to return to our backward trip through time we penultimately arrive back at the original Jamaican inhabitant. That means that Kingston's appropriate name has got to be Godston.But who knows what sex God is? And if he or she is one sex then it's unfair to the other. Is God British or Jamaican? Let us not forget our sensitivities towards atheists too.The arguments would be endless. So let us play it safe and drop the "God" from Godston. This brings us back to "Ton" where the coaster doctors have patiently been waiting for the last few paragraphs.