Warning: may include self-indulgent moans
on My Thai (Thailand), 08/May/2011 15:25, 34 days ago
So there’s nothing much to report at the moment but I guess there’s a certain challenge to constructing a post out of nothing much. Sort of like opening your IKEA box to find all the screws and instructions but no planks of wood to work around...Since Songkran it’s been back to life in ‘The Armpit’, such as it is.Sunday to Thursday I ride the five minutes to work and by the time I get there always look as though I’ve been trekking through the Sahara for days on end. Only 88° in old money today and the clouds are gathering so I think another downpour might be on the cards.I think the start of rainy season was officially announced here a few weeks ago with a storm of biblical proportions which lasted for hours– I could literally see the glass in my balcony doors shake every time the thunder struck. And after all the excitement the power went out which is something I’m starting to think should be added to the weather forecasts:‘So it’s looking like rain for central Thailand today. Make sure you pack an umbrella if you’re leaving the house and don’t forget those extra batteries and candles tonight!’A few days after the heavens first opened I was just about to head out on the bike, thinking the sky looked a little grey but satisfying myself that the brief ride to work would be over before the weather could take a turn for the worse. I think I made it about 100 metres before being pounded with rain and in the two minutes it took me to put on my rain mac (think Netto carrier bag with hood and you’re there) I was about as wet as could be. I spent the rest of the day squelching around and wondering whether it was possible to contract pneumonia in a tropical climate.While we’re mentioning illnesses...with rainy season comes the hypochondriac’s fear of dengue. I’ve convinced myself I’m a sitting target and I’ll be amazed if I don’t succumb: I’m like a delicacy to mosquitoes, spend each lunchtime sat next to a lake, ride past a few fetid pools of water on the commute to work and have pretty lax standards of cleanliness when it comes to my flooding balcony. After that first wet ride to work and an extra soaking courtesy of the fish filled lorries passing my way, I decided that punctuality might have to take a backseat for the next few months! Having said that, timekeeping is something I’ve imposed on myself here and I don’t think it’s a virtue held in high regard by the land of smiles!So anyway, I’ve settled into a daily routine that brings few surprises.I spend the morning at my desk, planning work that may never come to pass and trying to ignore the fact that I am all but invisible to my colleagues. Then at lunchtime I take myself off to the lovely artificial lake inside the rather posh compound to sit, read and watch the water (fish, lizards and turtles– my personal favourite).A few weeks ago I restocked at a second-hand bookshop in Bangers. At the moment it’sGone with the Wind– sure it’s hokey and melodramatic but at 1000 pages I’ll get value for money. My pompous defence is that I’m reading it for the insight into race relations and the Civil War but really, I don’t think it’s fooling anyone!So after my constitutional it’s back to the office for another few hours and probably a listen to something on the BBC radio iplayer while I’m there. I’d like to say I’ve learnt a lot from listening to the radio at work but, to be truthful, most of the time it just acts as soothing background noise. There are many dayswhen it’s the closest I come to a conversation, tragic as that sounds, and it’s yet another of those little security blankets I cling to.When it’s not acting as white noise, the odd little nugget does make it through though and I’m always frustrated that it’s the totally irrelevant and useless facts I remember rather than things that might actually make me cleverer.Let’s see what recent gems I can recall:* In the past animals were routinely held on trial for committing crimesLocal people were often called to act as character witnesses for the accused and when one rat didn’t show in court it was taken as an admission of his/her guilt.* People with long arms need more personal space* Winston Churchill taught his pet parrot to swear* Hitler didn’t really keep a diary* Tony Hancock was a misogynistic genius* Using the old‘Sat Nav malfunction’ defence can get you out of most brushes with the lawWell, after more auditory educational delights it’s off past my favourite saluting security guards and back home.When I can be bothered (which isn’t often enough) I’ll make a half hearted attempt at some exercise before plonking myself in front of the laptop. Assuming I do make it through the year dengue free, there’s a good chance I’ll be arrested at Heathrow for copyright infringements since I’m watching more downloaded fare than is healthy for the average person. I’ve just about hit saturation point withThe West Wingnow so need to find another boxset to keep me entertained of an evening. And, not to sound totally middle aged, but I’ll generally be wielding some form of needle (or, rather ineptly, a hook at the moment) while in front of the laptop so I don’t feel like a total zombie.And that’s my day.Not the most exciting time ever but it’s amazing what you can get used to!Bar a brief chat with a journalist who appeared in the office and my weekly‘let’s guess how many times it’ll freeze’ Skype call back home, it’s been over three weeks since I’ve seen or spoken to a friendly face. And that’s hard. I mean, seriously, imagine going even a day without talking to anyone...I know sometimes that might sound like a dream but then there’s day two, day three and by day four you’re comatose!I won’t go into details about work but my concerns about several issues seem to have fallen on deaf ears and it’s disappointing to have been here so long and still be treated like such an outsider.It’s frustrating - wanting to do so much but having the power to do so little.So that’s where we are now.