Kenyan English
on 12 Months in Kenya (Kenya), 24/May/2011 13:19, 34 days ago
As a Speech& Language Therapist in Kenya, I am a keen observer of Kenyan English. Working alongside children with speech and language difficulties, I find it is I who is learning new interesting words and phrases. Though Ihaven'tmasteredSwahili, I listen constantly to different word meanings of English.I hope Idon'toffend anyone here but I am only having a little fun with the words and phrases I hear so please do not take me too seriously. I find Kenyan English rich and interesting, borrowing from local languages and creating an exciting new languageCheng. This is what I hear on the streets of Nairobi...Let me confirmis a common answer to most questions in KenyaCan I have my change?let me just confirmmeaning:haven'ta clue, need to ask someone elseJust waitCommon answer to inpatientmzungurequests of which there are many.meaning: just hang on and wait patiently without talking for a long time like the rest of usI am alightingIam getting off the bus,matatunow not in a few minutesmatatuDangerous mode of public transport which overloads to 20 people with place for only 14 small people under 5 ft with slim hips and behinds. The ride is pimped withtrinketsof Barack Obama, Jay Z,Beyonceandunfamousand unrecognizable pop stars from the eighties. The floor is usually wide open, the ceiling is low. You hit your hard hard if you sit in the back. Increased risk of petty theft in the back also.No onetalks except drunks, foreigners, andmatatutouts who usually just poke and saymzungu, 40 (when it should be only 20).Common robbery tricks include dropping your change so you bend down to pick up your change and then... there goes your wallet and your phone. When you ask for your things back,don'texpect help from others. Yellingthiefhowever, prompts a different response- please see my blog on mob justice. Anddon'tforget to saylet me alightwhen you are getting off orUmenilipishikamaMzungu(don'tcharge memzunguprices)when you are ripped off(sorry for crazy Swahili spelling! )We have reachedThis sentence is never finished.It means we have reached our destination...and survivedPlease and thanks not usually used to request thingsgive mea coke/burger/Ugaliget meWhen you say thanks, people replyyou're welcomeMzungu-foreignerThe word replaces your name. In fact, you do not have a name. If you are white and you live in Kenya, you will be calledMzunguoften.Don'tget angry, just accept it. You can always reply withMwafricameaning African person... if you feel like getting a laugh out of people or a cold hard stare of confusion. Apparently as amzunguyou are expected to beover demanding, panicky, inpatient, with oodles of money and ready to give a job to someone who asks at any timethrice-3 times..haven'theard that in a long timecali-angry...acalidogsorry-used all the time to mean I am sorry that you are complaining so much and I have to listen to itI just got ripped off-sorryI feel sick-sorryI've just been bitten by a large black spider- like insect with claws, help! (it really happened to me inNaivashaone night)-sorryItdoesn'tmatter the enormity of the devastation to you, the response will always be-sorryTusker-fizzyKenyanlight beer with a lovely picture of an Elephant on the front, gives instant hangovers after 2Guinnessserved cold in a bottle- justdon'tdrink it.I have seen people add coke-sacrilegeNyamachama-barbecuedmeat including goat, chicken, beef. Tastyclean heartUsed when bribing someone.Please give with a clean heart,meaning you will suffer always in your heart if you do not give me some money now. Used by police officersPlease add somethingUsed in negotiation meaningyou are so stingy, add more moneyalsoI have to survivemeaning I am getting a salary from the public sector but I want to earn more on the side, for example facilitators fees at meetings where people are paid to sit around on committees and cause more indecision by never deciding on anything except to arrange more meetings, but you will have to pay facilitators fees for theprivilege. We have to survive!polepoleslowly slowly-don'trush. go slow and just wait...for a long timeHarambeea collection of money for people getting married or dying or dead already. There is no social welfare justharambeedaktariany person working in a hospital including occupational therapists, speech and language therapists (all 2 of them), physiotherapistswhat religion are you?a common question tomzungus. warning: you must have one. you must worship. you cannot answernoreligionas you will be calleda pagan or atheist-worse than the devil himselfThe reply toatheistsand non- believers is usually non verbal- shake of head in dismaypolygamyand general infidelityFor men only. If you try this and you are a married female, you risk being divorced andostracisedfrom your family. Men have biological needsafter allwhich womendo not haveI end now, as I'm sure to offend someonebut there will be more later...