Little Miss Sunshine
on Um Zayd wa Atheer (Uganda), 14/Apr/2012 15:24, 34 days ago
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LittleMiss SunshineI'mlooking at a card on my wall, which reads 'Blessed be the cracked for they letin the light'. Until today I have taken cracked to mean potty but I am nowthinking it could mean something else, like vulnerable or damaged. Many yearsago an elderly Christadelphian patient explained to me how she saw heremotional sensitivity not as a weakness but more of a strength. Her ownanxieties had enabled her to understand the feelings and needs of others; shehad seen their light. I don't find this too difficult to understand and therehave been numerous occasions when I have been reminded of Emma's words.Iwon't deny that the last few months have left me feeling cracked, in both senses of the word. Events beyondmy control have weighed heavily on me and I know that I have become too seriousand maybe too dull. Messages home cannot have been fun to read. Over one week ago,as I set out to spend Easter in Fort Portal, I knew that despite the cracks itwas time to 'let in the light'. Whatever happens in our lives there are thingsto make us smile and for us to appreciate. We need to be reminded to look fromtime to time.Injust seven days I have enjoyed….Themountain scenery of Fort Portal, luscious and dramatic, which reminded me of aspecial family holiday once taken in Austria.YesterdayI ate my first mango of the season. It cost pennies and the golden juicedribbled off my chin.Askedin a queue of health workers, 'Tell me, do VSO only send old people thesedays?'Delightfulnews from home. Atheer and Liz are engaged and plan to marry in Malvern.Mystolen bag and purse have been returned, both empty (by the thief in the middleof the night!). Another volunteer genuinely saw this as an act of kindness and remorse!Atext message from a fellow volunteer asking if I had a mac. To which I replied 'Yes' and reached out for my raincoat. And I thought I was a modern woman.ExcellentInternet connection enabling me to listen to the first of the new series of theNews Quiz. Hearing Sandi Toksvig's giggle and wit cheers me up so much.Filletsteak bought twice, in error (not by me), for a barbecue in Fort Portal.Heaven.Twoyears ago, during my last visit to Rome, Jill and I went to an exhibition ofpaintings by Caravaggio, the master of chiaroscuro, light and darkness.  His dark characters lurk in the shadowsand take on a sinister air whilst sunshine and light glow over others bringing them serenity. Like Little Miss Sunshine I will never be astar but I hope that I will have light and brightness in my life, justas Caravaggio would have painted. Darkness is not a good place to be.