Bye bye Broccoli...and other reverse culture shock-isms
on Rebecca in Rwanda (Rwanda), 12/Aug/2013 09:12, 34 days ago
I am about to board a plane to Africa and I am cognizant of leaving the "land of plenty" for the "land of a thousand variables". I remember the first time I traveled to Africa with Habitat for Humanity and I packed like a Boy Scout for every potential outcome. This is my 4th trip back to Africa- (Ghana, Rwanda, Ethiopia, Rwanda) and I want to approach this trip as a wise veteran traveler.While I was waiting to board, I watched an expat family in line. They were heading back to Rwanda after a summer at home in the U.S. The woman's 8 year old son was quite hyper and impatient with the lineup, so he was chomping his gum obnoxiously. After dad gave him a stern look with no effect and mom tried to reason with him about the "time for being silly"...(when is that by the way, for kids, noon? 6pm? Clearly it's not during the airport lineup)...mom resorted to telling him that "because there is no First aid "here", he had better stop chewing his gum like that because when he chokes he will need a tracheostomy". I kinda looked at her dumbfounded and then closed my jaw as she continued with this line of discipline by pushing on his throat and telling her son that a doctor would jab a knife there, etc. etc. In my head I made a mental note. This is "white woman fear", a socially conditioned response. The teacher in me also thought that such an extreme threat as a response to silly behavior was a bit inappropriate. The boy was a bit startled by the information and he spat his gum out when mom turned away. Problem solved? Fear bug planted. As I was battling my own nerves about coming back to Africa, I asked myself not "What do I fear?" but rather "Where did I learn my fear and is it accurate?"I had a nice chat with a Serbian lady on the first leg of my trip. We talked about the CNN High Alert Code Orange mentality and how living in Canada- one of the most prosperous, safe and supportive countries in the world-means that 99% of our fears are unjustified. I chatted with her about my return from living in Ireland and how astonished I was in 2010 (when Ireland had a difficult year fiscally) to see the knee-jerk reaction and subsequent despair of the people there. As Canadians we have the boom and bust economy and while the recession is intimidating we can relax in the knowledge that the pain is temporary and employment is always available but compromises must be made. Where does this desperate fearfulness come from? In the Western world, we are not destitute, we are not impoverished, we have access to medical care, education (university level in Ireland!) and unlimited choices. Yet we don't seem to think it's enough. In stark contrast, my memories of Rwanda include industrious, grateful, joyful people who definitely had stories of hardship to speak of but did not wear their trauma. It was behind their eyes, it was in the hesitant first few minutes of interaction when eyes get downcast but it was not the first and most prominent point of discussion. "My poverty is evident by my clothes, by my lack of adequate shelter, by my lack of employment but you will not get a sense of loss from my spirit" is what most comes to mind when I think of Rwandans. How much we have to learn about priorities.So, as I get ready to board the plane, I'm reminded of the basic human needs for survival: food, shelter, clothing, love. The rest is just luxury. I took one last spin around the No Frills before leaving Canada. No broccoli, no 17 brands of cereal, no Epson salts for 2 weeks. Oh...and thinking of turning my cable off once I get home. Herbal Magic ads about the perfect body, PRIUS commercials about how a car makes my life better in an existential sense and the umpteenth ad for an illness I don't have that I need to take medication for are really grating at my spirit. Like cheese grater on cheddar!Fear can take a hike."And I said to the one who stood at the gate of the year,"Give me a light that I may tread safely into the Unknown."And he replied, "Go out into the darkness and put your hand in to the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way." Minnie Huskins.See you in Rwanda!!!