A New Pandemic Engulfs Africa
on Me Talk Pretty One Day (Malawi), 02/Oct/2009 05:50, 34 days ago
The World Health Organisation yesterday issued a warning to foreign nationals travelling to Malawi, advising them to avoid contact with all civil servants and government officials after reports that Verbal Diarrhoea (VD) had reached epidemic levels in the small central African country.The latest outbreak occurred at the Ministry of Education headquarters in Lilongwe during a meeting of the working group on crosscutting issues in education. One delegate spoke for 25 minutes on the importance of urinals while another reportedly told participants that worms were not a popular parasite amongst the nation’s rural poor.The meeting, originally scheduled to last three hours, was halted after more than five hours of nonsensical talk and PowerPoint presentations on the advice of doctors.Representatives of development partners, including the Department for International Development and Voluntary Service Overseas, had been in attendance but many left after Ministry officials began exhibiting symptoms of acute VD.One delegate, VSO’s Stuart Burrows, told reporters that VD was now widespread in the world of education. “Teachers, Primary Education Advisors, Ministry officials—they’re all affected,” he said. “I once witnessed a lengthy discourse from the Deputy Minster herself, in which she seemed to effortlessly switch between English and Chichewa without any regard for her audience. Things have got really bad. I am dreading the forthcoming training on the implementation of the new Primary Curriculum and Assessment Reform for standards 4 and 8,” continued Burrows before doctors moved in to sedate him.It is still unclear how VD is transmitted from one sufferer to the next. The World Health Organisation states that short-term exposure does not usually cause any lasting effects but is warning caution nonetheless.Some observers fear that the disease may spread from Africa to other parts of the world following Libyan leader, Colonel Moammar Gaddafi’s 94-minute tirade at the United Nations in New York last month. His interpreter collapsed after 90 minutes stating: “I just can’t take it anymore!” He was replaced by another interpreter and was taken to a local hospital for observation.Symptoms of VD include excessive verbosity and repetitiveness, temporary deafness, and the complete inability to judge just when to shut the heck up. There is no known cure for Verbal Diarrhoea but most people affected eventually recover with either retirement or death.Zimbabwe’s President, Robert Mugabe, is Africa’s longest-suffering VD casualty.-ReutersGaddafi Interpreter 'Collapsed During UN Speech'100 Minutes in the Life of Muammar Gaddafi