Pakist'Anne Frank
on Pak'd Off (Pakistan), 21/Jan/2008 13:39, 34 days ago
I've been back in Pakistan for 5 days now, the events of which have been entirely un-noteworthy but I'm making this blog entry for entirely self-serving purposes. This entry should be considered little more than an exercise to keep one amused in the early evening, during a powercut with only a fully charged laptop for company. Read on at your own discretion.I’ll begin by describing the context that drove me to inflict my boredom on others. Since flying into a foggy, drippy Lahore on Wednesday morning and returning to my pad, I have left the house only twice for no longer than an hour and half each time. The reason for this is partly (first two days) due to jetlag and my cold, now approaching its triumphant four-week anniversary and having progressed on to cruelly robbing me of my senses of smell and taste. The other part (next three days) is due to the religious festival of Muharram which has now reach day ten of a month long mourning period. The tenth day is the climax of the proceedings where the old city sees many members of the Shi’ia faith taking to the streets and self-flagellating, some using sharp knives, in multiples of 3,7 or 21, attached to long chains. It’s not exactly what I would call a tourist attraction but nonetheless,VSO have advised that we stay in the house as events can sometimes turn unpredictably violent in more than just the self-inflicted manner described.As a result of this we have passed a very leisurely few days sleeping, sunbathing on the balcony, (in full salwar kameez, but my face has a nice colour to it now) being snotty and appreciating the texture of various foods. It's amazing how sharply ones qualityof life declines without a sense of smell or taste. Boredom eating hasn't even come into the equation as a possible activity to help pass my hibernation weekend.Anyway, since I'm stuck in the house, I thought I would take the opportunity to give you a tour and tell you about where I live. I live in the cantonment (army housing) area of Lahore in the upstairs portion of the home of a very pleasant family. We enter the house through a side door and climb the curly stairs into this very bizarre open plan bit. We currently hang our washing here but I have suggested getting some space hoppers so we can make better use of the area. The stairs you can see in the picture curl upwards into nothing. Not literally, like the edge of the universe or anything, just this weird plastic roof-lid thing.Here's our kitchen, cooking facilities basically consist of the double hob and a microwave sized oven (not pictured).Here is the living room, where we luxuriate, receive guests and play internet. We have no TV but I don't really mind, TV here is pretty bad despite there being around 80 channels. It just takes 16 times longer than in the UK to realise there's nothing worth watching.This is the view of our balcony from inside. It's quite big but we don't go out there much as all the neighbours can see and seem to like to stare. No one can see us if we sit on the floor so we can catch some rays if necessary, but I still wouldn't risk damaging the neighbours' delicate constitutions by wearing my bikini.This is my boudoir. I get pretty cold at night because the houses here are designed to keep the heat out for the sweltering summers. I'm sure I'll be grateful for it in a few months but for now my feet freeze on the faux-marble floor.Finaly, here is my en suite bathroom. I rarely use the squat toilet as we have a normal one in another bathroom and also in view of an a incident where I was overtired, overconfident and undercareful with my pyjama bottoms. Nuff (too much?) said. The shower head thing next to the loo, attached to the outside of the bath is like a squirty handheld bidet. I can't figure out the logistics of using one of those in public places when there seems to be nothing provided in the way of tissues or any other implement for drying ones "self".I'm also probably the luckiest VSO volunteer ever in that I have both a bath with shower and a seperate shower with a reliable supply of steaming hot water.So that completes the tour. From looking at pictures of volunteer accommodation in other countries, I think I'm pretty lucky to be living in such a nice place. I think that's about all I have to say for now, I really don't know where Anne Frank got her inspiration...