M&S self-reflection (1) Are we ready?
on M&S Diary (Sierra Leone), 13/May/2006 10:31, 34 days ago
Yesterday, Maro phoned theVSOoffice and was told they were now sure that they knew what we’d be doing, and where. They can’t let on until it’s one hundred percent certain. But somewhere out there, after months of assessments, interviews and meetings, the die seems cast.So this is the quiet before the storm, the moment before creation.But I am wondering: what can we take forward from this time– before the ‘definite’ removes us toeverything that isCambodia, Sri Lanka, Malawi?Radiance, fertility, justiceContinuous fertility is the story of our planet (rememberE=MC2). But the quality of radiance in every‘life event’ depends on anearlier readinessto conceive. Specifically, to conceivethe unknown.What does this have to do with us now? In 2 weeks we shall have some clearer idea of which unknown we are to enter. The question is: how will we avoid the instict to subdue it? To bend expectation to what we might learn from authoritative Rough Guides, BBC news reports, charity appeals and our own idealism?The first thing, I think, is tokeepthe unknown unknown. The fertility cult, the oldest source of religion and perhaps, in any meaningful sense, source of language, was precisely about this: entering the presence of the unknown and acknowledging its absolute, creative authority. The social world nurtured by the cult was undoubtedly violent. But at the heart of its bloody sacrifices lay the vital understanding that life can only emerge from darkness.Reallife fromrealvulnerability; promise from the collapse of material security.This idea is expressed (by no means uniquely) viaNoah, et al. and brings me onto the principle initimately paired with fertility in the ancient cults: justice. The connection is straightforward: both distill in the readiness to conceive. Just as the cult/community gathered to surrender their bodies to the swell of recreation, so hearts and minds were formed. From collective surrender to collective reality.So then: will we get out of our adventures the radience they deserve? Will we continuously gather and surrender? Will we swell with the waters of justice and creation?InspirationRaiiner Maria Rilke offers up this prayer to fertility:You are the future,the red sky before sunriseover the fields of time.You are the cock's crow when night is done,You are the dew and the bells of matins,maiden, stranger, mother, death.You create yourself in ever-changing shapesthat rise from the stuff of our days --unsung, unmourned, undescribed,like a forest we never knew.You are the deep innerness of all things,the last word that can never be spoken.To each of us you reveal yourself differently:to the ship as coastline, to the shore as a ship.(Rainer Maria Rilke)