Happy Valentine's Day
on From Banglatown to Bangladesh (Bangladesh), 14/Feb/2010 15:31, 34 days ago
One of the many strange and wonderful things about Bangladesh is its celebration of Valentine's Day. In the UK, Valentine's Day is filled with apparent symbols and sounds of love and romance: red roses, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, Barry White... Supposedly loved by mutually besotted couples, and hated by those stuck in their singledom, it is– for better or for worse – a day decidedly on the nation's calendar, even if it is stubbornly ignored by many individuals.Valentine's IndifferenceMy own views on Valentine's Day have generally been rather indifferent. Not out of bitterness: I've had my own candlelit dinner or two, just like I've had the single's equivalent of a night out with 'the girls'. Memories of exchanging handwritten cards in primary school are not traumatic, but instead quite sweet: I remember carefully writing out the names of each classmate, and giggling if– on receipt of a card from a boy – there was the word 'love' inside (probably written by their mother).But not generally being one for enforced emotion, I've never really understood the need to assign a day specifically for romantic declarations, or required depression, depending on one's relationship status.'Valentine's Special'But like so many things, Valentine's Day in Bangladesh is quite a different experience. Last year I was in Dhaka, and can remember being surprised at crowded restaurants, with 'Valentine's Special' banners hanging outside their windows, and the groups of young people taking romantic strolls around Dhanmondi lake.Because, while the Bangladeshi calendar is full of 'days of observation' (Friendship Day, Agriculture Day, Independence Day, Water Day, to name just a few), in a country in which arranged marriages are the norm, dating seems to be a foreign concept, and hand-holding between even married couples is frowned upon, I just didn't expect to see a day publicly celebrating romantic liaisons to be a cause for national attention.Valentine's in the HillsBut– again, like so many things – Valentine's Day is an example of where the different pieces of my Bangladeshi experience just don't fit together. This year I'm in Khagrachari, and even here in the hills, Valentine's Day has been most definitely visible. I haven't seen any roses, soppy cards, orheard plans of romantic getaways, but it's here nonetheless.In the office, the greeting of the day, shared in person and shouted excitedly over the phone, was an enthusiastic 'Happy Valentines' Day!'. One colleague, soon to be married, could barely contain his excitement, as– smile shining across his face – he greeted everyone in turn.Upon arrival at our regular lunch-spot, my colleagues and I were greeted by balloons– red, shiny and heart-shaped – hanging outside and from the ceiling, and heart-shaped candles on each of the table. This might not sound so strange, but given that the only usual decoration on the bare concrete walls is a faded piece of A4 with the restaurant's name on it, this indulgence in romance-related bling is notable, to say the least.'Say it Loudly, Say it Slowly'But while my mobile phone provider repeatedly offered me the opportunity to send 'romantic ringtones' to my loved one, the exchange of gifts or candlelit dinners don't seem to have quite caught on. I was however invited by a colleague's wife for very tasty indigenous cakes to mark the occasion. From their house we could hear Valentine's chanting from groups of young people outside, on their way to the evening-stroll hotspot of the town ('say it loudly, I love you! Say it slowly, I love you!').'Only Those in Love Can Know'And, just like in the UK, Valentine's Day brought reflections on this most philosophical of topics. As we walked to lunch, a colleague asked me, 'what is love?'. In the end, he gave his own response: 'only those in love can know'.With this in mind– and as surprising as the practices may be - just as love itself may not easily be understood from the outside, who am I to judge how its special day is celebrated?Happy Valentine's, everyone.