On That Age-Old Question
on From Banglatown to Bangladesh (Bangladesh), 06/May/2010 05:06, 34 days ago
A few years ago, on that digital conveyance of personality that is Facebook's 'About Me' section, I described myself as a 'cynical optimist'. I meant at the time I think, that despite my by then well-developed British sense of sarcasm and healthy dose of scepticism (that I thought allowed me to see past the rhetoric of politicians and advertisers), really I wanted to believe the best in people and the possibilities of the future.At university, fuelled by the critical stance of academia, and the drinks-fuelled political debates of social science students, my cynical side reigned. On my arrival in Bangladesh however,‘thinking positive’ became not just a more attractive option, but a requirement in itself. And tipping the balance between my cynicism and optimism to the latter has become an ongoing effort in my life here.'Development' and the DeshBecause, for me to be happy working in‘development’, I must be sure that things can indeed be different. But, like with everything in the Desh, considerations of the future bring just too many contradictions and confusing pathways. On the one hand, I have had my beliefs in people and the possibilities of positive change shaken over and over again. On the other hand, I have seen people’s incredible perseverance, determination, and creativity in the face of so many challenges. And I have both witnessed – and been subject to – amazing acts of generosity and thoughtfulness that restore my faith in the inherent goodnessof beings.The Ongoing StruggleSo, as I think about days ahead in the Desh, that struggle between optimism and pessimism reigns. I want to believe that the realisation of promised dreams and desires will happen, that the people most in need will be reached, that it is the voices of the deserving that determine the directions of development projects and processes. I want to believe that change can happen.But in the distance, in this industry that I am part of, the dark shadow of log frames, project proposals and development targets cooked up in air-conditioned offices looms. And in this country, I know that social, political, ethnic and religious conflicts stretch far and wide, that corruption and nepotism pervades its every layer, and that the sheer numbers of people and problems mean at times that‘change’ feels like an overwhelming possibility.Half-Full or Half-Empty?And so I return to that age-old question. Is the glass half-full, or is it half-empty? Is it better that the governments, the international agencies, the endless NGOs, are here, working towards some idea of 'development', no matter how flawed the process or activities? Is there positive change that can happen, even in a limited political environment such as this one?I do have bad days, in which my cynical eyes look beyond the veneer of rhetoric ('empowerment', 'grassroots', 'rights-based approach'), and I am sceptical of any chances of change. But if there is one thing that the Desh has taught me, it’s that thinking positive is important. So I remind myself of the ongoing transitions already happening in this still-young country, of which there are so many. I concentrate on the small steps I see around me, of the amazing people I know, and how bloody lucky I am to be here.Tomorrow?My struggles are not new, nor are they surprising. But these days, they are a constant part of life. And while I quite regularly resort to clichés and cheesy films with happy endings to keep it up, I am determined to keep myself in the ‘glass is half-full’ camp.After all, as became a daily mantra in one of the more challenging times, tomorrow will be a better day.