The Russian Civilian Tank
on Shane Stevenson (Tajikistan), 20/Feb/2010 05:41, 34 days ago
The Lada Niva is the Soviet Landrover.The Niva was originally designed for the Soviet Ministry of Defence in the 1970’s as an off-roader. In many respects it was ahead of it's time, and in many other ways it was not. AvtoVAZ invested heavily in a new plant in Tolyatti, named after Palmiro Togliatti the leader of the Italian Communist Party. Tolyatti soon became the Russian Detroit / Dagenham, and the Niva becamethe people's vehicle of choice. Unfortunately, 30yrs later the exact same production line was still in operation, and the Niva remained unchanged.The Daily Telegraph recently rated the Niva in the worst ten cars ever made. However, it was the first vehicle to reach the North Pole, the first to ascend to 5300m in the Tibetan Plateaux, and the car of choice for the Weston-Super Mare Life Boat Crew and the Channel Tunnel Engineers.Having owned my third hand Niva for at least 100days, here are MY own key observations:1.If you replace the 50W headlights for 90W you can drive at night.2.If it is cold, the indicator and the hazard lights are indistinguishable.3.If you change the 8” windscreen wiper for a 14” you can drive in the rain.4.The car is set to automatically streamline at high speed; the wing mirrors fold in.5.The tyres are designed by cyclists, they have inner tubes that frequently burst on asphalt roads.6.To‘balance’ the wheels (stop them wobbling) you attach lead bricks to the wheel rims.7.Standard Niva parts are substantially better than the factory fittings (plastic– metal)8.The Niva can perform a spontaneous 180 degree spin on compacted snow.9.It is permanently (and expensively) in 4 wheel drive, somewhat apt for Tajikistan.10.The smaller gear stick vibrates against your leg massaging your calf muscles. Long journeys can result in bruising.11.The automatic speed restrictor kicks in at 60mph; the shaking becomes deafening.12.On hitting a pot hole, the gearing system can be knocked out of sync. This can be fixed in twenty minutes by a golden toothed mechanic with a chest full of phlegm, a hammer and an adjustable spanner.13.The fuel tank leaks if you park on a slope.14.There is no point in locking the doors, your granny could open them with her hair pin,15.I wouldn’t replace it with a Toyota Landcruiser, the SUV of the UN.Check out the link to see a NIVA in action:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVJonSJV27o&feature=related