“What a nice young man.” 4 more reasons to get robbed in Cameroon
on Notes from Quite Far (Cameroon), 14/Jul/2010 19:29, 34 days ago
I have come to the conclusion that Cameroon has a better class of thief than any other country I know. They’re considerate, they’re friendly, they cause a bare minimum of inconvenience, and they don’t make a mess. Yes, they steal your stuff and that’s wrong. But they really are quite nice about it.Don’t believe me? Read the following four accounts and tell me there’s a better country in the world to get robbed in.Last weekend I rather stupidly left my kitchen door unlocked and went out. I arrived home to find I’d been the victim of a burglary. Items missing: one packet of spaghetti and the last of my bread. Everything else was as I left it. What’s more I noticed that whoever stole my bread had put the plastic bag it came in into the bin. While I don’t approve of stealing, I think if you’re going to take someone’s stuff, then tidying up after yourself is quite a nice touch. To be honest if they’d done my washing up and given my fridge a wipe round they could have had my cooking oil too.Another quite pleasant young criminal pickpocketed me at the market some months ago. I knew what he was up to, but rather than try to catch him in the act I let it happen. I did this because I’ve been warned that if passers by step in, robbers can receive quite a severe beating, and I didn’t want this on my conscience. Besides, I didn’t have any money in my pocket, just a scrap of paper with a phone number scribbled on it. So I walked on, seemingly oblivious. 30 seconds later, I heard the word “Madame” and felt a tap on my shoulder. Much to my surprise it was the pickpocket himself, giving me back my piece of paper. He was so polite I couldn’t help but say thank you.If you have your wallet stolen in Maroua, it’s worth leaving it a couple of days before going to the police. Thieves tend to take the money out of it, then post it back through the police station window overnight with bank cards, ID cards, family photos etc. all present and correct. Indeed the police have a stock of passports that thieves have stolen by accident then put through the window. If you do visit the police station, they may well ask you to look through their passport collection and see if there’s anyone you recognise.But the best proof that Cameroonian thieves are the nicest thieves of all is the story of a volunteer who actually managed to negotiate his own mugging. He had a perfectly nice chat with his assailants and persuaded them that they had no use for his credit card. Also it would have been a real hassle for him to get his ID card replaced, so they let him keep that too. Ironically they even agreed to let him keep a bit of change for taxi fare since it was late and they agreed that walking home alone would not be wise– you never know who you might run into.