Zahara's wedding day
on Um Zayd wa Atheer (Uganda), 18/Jul/2010 08:35, 34 days ago
Last Saturday Zahara married Mohammed. The celebration took place at her parents' home in Kigezi. I have known Amina and Nassur for some time so was delighted to be invited to share this 'happy' day. They are a Muslim family and everything followed traditional lines.A mud hut had been set aside for Zahara and her female attendants. This is where she sat for the whole of the ceremony, waiting for her husband to join her. There was a lot of twitching of the net curtain, screening her from view. Meanwhile outside the prayers were said by the men only. The women were hidden from view by crude screens. Other non-Muslim guests sat under a simple canopy of branches, grass and matting decorated with fast deflating balloons and streamers of white toilet roll. (My suspicions were confirmed when I spotted a cardboard roll still attached at one end). Children from the local Islamic School brought their own colour from the back of a lorry. The boys played instruments while the girls swayed and sang. Their ancient conducter twizzled his baton totally out of beat with the tunes. The children did well despite him.At last the groom's party arrived. Three garlanded men escorted by a bevy of robust and fearsome looking women. Which one was the groom? Despite hopes to the contrary it turned out to be the one in the middle; tall, older and not exactly handsome. Zahara, 21, was to marry a man in his mid 40s, with no teeth except for a prominant front row that stuck out at 45 degrees, displayed proudly when he smiled. Once the dowry was negotiated and the lengthy speeches were over a very happy Mohammed was taken to sit beside his wife inside the hut. The curtain ceased to twitch but guests were no less interested as they tucked into the wedding 'breakfast'. Miraculously pots and pots of food appeared from behind the screens. We each in turn collected a plate and circled round the table to collect our share. No cutlery, only fingers cleansed in the communal hand washing (Don't look at the colour of the water Pamela!) Suddenly pots were empty of every dot of food which was tasty and very welcome. It was now after 4 pm.Eventually Zahara and Mohammed came out of the hut. The cars were waiting to take the bride and her few possesions a few miles away to her new home. In went the mattress, blanket, cooking pots and a tiny case with her clothes. Mohammed came first, still flashing those teeth and eager to have his photograph taken with his 2 younger and more handsome brothers. Zahara followed, walking like a stooped old woman, her head covered by a cloth lest she should be seen by other men or perhaps lest she should catch a glimpse of men nearer to her age and possibly more atrractive. As Mohammed sat in the car with at least 6 of his relatives the bride was led to her mother to say 'Goodbye'. As the cloth was lifted the fear and saddness was clear to see. Tears followed and I was told the story of Zahara's wedding to Mohammed.On Amina's lap sat a 5 month year old child. Last year Zahara was 'spoilt', she was raped. Unlikely to be wanted by any other suitor Mohammed had come forward, offering to take her and the child. At 45 he had never married and had no children. Probably those teeth were to blame! Despite his age and his unfortunate looks people say that Mohammed is a kind man. He has paid a high dowry price so Zahara's father is happy. Zahara appeared less so but may be she will be happy one day and she will not be living far from her precious mother. Zahara spent her wedding night with Mohammed, 4 of his relatives, her baby and 2 of her own relatives. Not much sleep had there I suspect.