Beating Loneliness
on The Ghana Experience (Ghana), 31/Jul/2010 17:22, 34 days ago
27 July 2010I remember the first day when I was dropped in Bongo and Isa thie kindman who drove me from Bolga cautioned me while saying bye to me that Ishall feel lonely for first two-three days. He was true as he musthave had experience with so many VSO volunteers.In my case that feeling of loneliness came after about a week insteadas he had cautioned me about first few days. I, always being areserved person, don't socialise easily but simultaneously I have bigsocial network of friends about whom I have been very selective. Thismust have been reason for the feeling of loneliness starting notimmediately but after a few days.In the first week everything was new. There was an excitement about itand a kind of distrust on everything that was coming in front of me.It kept me busy thinking about all those new things. In the last weekhowever the feeling of that loneliness started to creep in when Istarted to know some people better and was capable of finding my wayout through some of the things. I started to feel that I don't haveany friends around here except Rose. Back in India, one could call ona person very easily once we start to know them. Most of thevolunteers residing in Bolga are Westerners (British, Dutch, Canadiansetc.) some of whom I had met on my first day in Bolga and thought thatit was not easy to call on them anytime as I had heard a lot aboutwesterners valueing their privacy etc.I started to realise that I shall be away from my homeland and mypeople for almost an year and the distance is too much with lots ofbarriers in crossing it. The way back is not easy while I am gettingsome crazy experiences with the local people. (मला या क्षणी तानाजीमालुसरेची गोष्ट आठवत आहे. ज्या वेळेला त्याने गडावर जाण्यासाठी वापरलेलेदोर कापून टाकले होते व मावळ्यांना सांगितले होते की आता जिंका किंवामरण्यास तयार रहा.)Simultaneously when I saw that there are many things to which I couldeasily adjust being from a developing country like India and there wasnothing to worry about much. Some of the volunteers in spite of comingfrom the developed countries have been able to adjust very well to thelocal situation and are doing fantastic work in the most backwardparts of the country. At a deeper level I think that this is a problemof typical Indian middle class where one is raised in a very protectedenvironment and always surrounded by so strong a social fence thatpeople just do not get mentally tough enough even after attainingphysical maturity and getting into adulthood.But I have been able to get over with it to a large extent after fourto five days. I shall share some open secrets about how I could do it.1.I have been doing regular exercise not missing a single day since Iarrived in Ghana. This has helped to always keep the energy levelshigh.2.I have maintained a diet which is not low in protein. Especiallyvegetarian Indians find it difficult when they have to adjust to thedietary habits in the foreign land. Most of the Indians (including me)are used to grain- pulse combination so much that when we go to someother country we try to find out what is vegetarian in the optionsoffered. One just ends up eating rice or bread (that means having onlycarbohydrates) which is not good for health and also makes youstressed even if one is not doing anything and has bad effects onphysical and consequently mental health. I have been actively eatingnon vegetarian food primarily for this reason.3.I proactively sought to meet or contact people. They include localswho helped me with many small things and also westerners, about whom Ihad prejudices which disappeared after meeting them or contacting themin person.4.I made proper plans for some of the things which I wanted to do andwanted to achieve during the day. It helped to move away the bits andpieces of anxiety that may come in the way.5.Listening to the music and reading helped me a lot.6.Writing a regular diary which I am now publishing in the form ablog. It helps to come out of the situation which I had been into andthink about the circumstances as a third person in an objective way.-----------------Period-----------------