Double Freak!
on Pam Kerruish (Tajikistan), 17/Aug/2010 12:56, 34 days ago
17-08-10 Tuesday.A couple of days ago I got an e-mail from a German girl who is on an "internship" at a dairy in Khojand. She is an engineer and is struggling with the Tajik culture and the lack of work in her placement. She tracked me down thro' American Corner, I think. Anyway I met her , Anya , for a meal last night . She is easy and entertaining company ( fluent English ) and we were discussing standard Tajik introductory remarks. These are "How old are you ? Are you Married ? Do you have children.?"We were commenting on the fact that not being married is tantamount to being labelled "Freak " as people here all get married. Later on we discussed glasses and how needing glasses is regarded as having a disability and how this makes you less marriageable . As a disabled person you are likely to pass on your imperfect genes and therefore perfect people dont want you. ( tho they think nothing of marrying 1st cousins generation after generation after generation ).As we were chatting Anya noticed my glasses and said thoughtfully " Double Freak." I thought it was hilarious -maybe you had to be there!But Mirzo made a serious observation re the culture today.He said that in a 3rd world country as Tajikistan is ( that is the first time I have heard a Tajik refer to Tajikistan as a 3rd world country )you cannot survive on your own, so you have to rely on your family to support you . Which explains the massive amount of nepotism that there is here.A lot of people working in development get really frustrated because they see that small units are not succeeding and try to get people to cooperate with one another. They all sign up to some agreement but break it as soon as it conflicts in some way with family loyalties. ( Whether they are doing well or doing badly, people opt out, to either capitalize for the family or cut their losses. )Things are seriously bad for some people. I have met a guy on my way to the bus stop a few mornings and he gets into a one way conversation most days. Yesterday he walked with me to the bus stop and explained to Mirzo that he is a cook and needs work. He said he would do anything, actually. Today he got on our bus and repeated most of his pleas but added as one of his qualifications that he is "a blood donor. "I thought that was terrible sad . I got the feeling he would donate body parts if it would get him a job. (or money)There were big queues at the petrol ,actually, gas stations , for gas today ,as there is a shortage.Annie told me she saw these tall Austrian style hats when she and Davy went to Kyrgystan so I assume that this guy, on the mischoukra this morning, is Kyrgys. ( my map doesnt have any "h"s in but I want to put them in. ) He and his friend were wearing sashes around their waist so I assume they had been to a funeral.( you wear them for weddings and funerals and they didn't look very cheery.)These other chaps, who I meet on the way to work each day are , by contrast , verycheery .They love to shout "Assalom" or "Hiya " when I go past. ( I'm not sure where they got "Hiya " from - perhaps a relative has been to Britain )All the kids from the area around the Internat say hello now - its nice.On the way home tonight we saw a broken -down vehicle and to my suprise the occupants had got out and were sitting on the road, backs leaning on the van on the traffic ,rather than verge side of the vehicle.I realized that they were sitting in the shade,but it was a pretty hairy spot to settle in.Kerstin , my VSO colleague in Chorborg , the flagship internat , rang tonight. She was beside herself as she had been asked to play with some children who were accompanied by Nannies Doctors etc. She tried to get a small group going but then noticed that the Doctors and Nannies were playing between themselves and were ignoring the children. ( that happens in Degmai if you leave them to their own devices. )She asked them to play with the children but they ignored her and when she pointed this out to a more senior doctor a little later the Doctors and Nannies, knowing they were being observed , immediately started to play with the children. She said there is no hope when even Doctors play these games.( in both senses) We really are dealing with a different level of deceit and madness than we ever could have imagined.- and deciet and madness or not, Mirzo and I clocked up a success today ! We got the first group of children ( 14 ) to the eye hospital to have their eyes tested. 4 need glasses and one is under further investigation. ( Boorhonjon).It was like a military operation as we had to take 7 under 14 and 7 over 14 , and 4 children in wheelchairs but it went reasonably smoothly. ( well , it could have been worse) I imagine that some of the children will keep taking their glasses off but if just a couple benefit it will be worth it.And later , I introduced a training I am going to run called "Certificate of Competence in Working with Disabled Children" .I asked all the staff to come to see what its about, even the feeding people and cleaners. They are just as involved with the children as anyone. Anyway Galia , who I have wanted to murder at times , came and said she would like to do the training! She also asked me to bring a Souvenir back from the Isle of Man which she will put in pride of place in her house. Amazing.18th August.I had my own taste of madness today.We were taking the second group of children to the eye hospital and were all set . ( tho the concept of swopping children to ensure they all get their turn seems to be too complicated for the staff. One little girl called Shalnoza has real eye problems but she was at home when it was her turn to go yesterday.We swopped her for a child who was to go on the third week.Anyway Shalnoza came back late yesterday. When we came to round up the kids today there were today's allocated kids + Shalnoza, all dressed up and waiting to go . - they thought they were being helpful, but of course it cocked the numbers up .)But I had forgotten this was Tajikistan! You remember I said there were gas shortages? Well, when we finally got the idea that our Mishoukra wasn't turning up - by 9am ( 8.30am Departure)and rang the driver, he said he was in a queue to get gas. He hadn't tried to ring us. Anyway at 10.30- still no phone call from the driver - we were phoning him -we got away.One of the senior Nurses Inobart , had asked if we would stop for a minute so she could get some food gift for a relative in the eye hospital . I had said yes reluctantly as we were already 2 hours late. However when we were all getting in the Mischoukra I put a child who was upset and frightened at going in a vehicle on my knee. There was another child,Rochshana , who needed to be held and she indicated to me that I should pass Farmon ( the boy I was holding ) back in the bus so I could hold Rochshana ! ( she had no intention of holding a child-they might contaminate her.)I didn't ( pass him back ) and she did ( hold Rochshana) Anyway I was angry ( I am getting more and more angry ) and when we got near the shop she wanted something from I asked what she wanted. She wanted us to stop while some shashlik was cooked for her relative! She said it would only take "5 minutes" but I firmly told Mirzo that we were NOT stopping the bus. She was not pleased but I noticed she pulled a child on her knee when he was upset in the examination AND that she held a child on her knee on the way back. Its a dreadful place at times.19th August.It wasno good, I couldn't contain my self this morning and took the staff member ( the director's sister) to task about using the mischoukra as a taxi and the trip to the Eye hospital as an opportunity to have her eyes tested and see her relatives, but not wanting to deign to hold a child , and told her not to treat me as hired help! She was furious and offered to pay for the mischoukra, denied having ever refused to take a child on her knee and then spoiled it by telling me she'd said it I should pass Farmon back because he would be heavy on my knee. I was pretty shook up by this ( I hate being walked over but when I do stand up for myself I feel bad too ) but decided that it was "in for a penny in for a pound"and went to see the director.I told the her that I didn't want to be part of making a DVD that showed Degmai as good if it wasnt good and that I didn't want to spend money on the school room if only 8 children could use it.She took this very calmly ( I have access to money ) and said she wanted the same things as I did . Actually she was pretty convincing and although they will all do just what they want when I leave I feel I have given it my best shot and havent just been walked over by the staff. No doubt the whole cycle will repeat itself, me getting frustrated with them and then getting mad but trying to be "reasonable " and then just getting plain mad with them,but for now I will sleep a bit better. I have been very uncomfortable about doing a DVD which portrays Degmai in a good light( without the promise of improvement ) and of spending a lot of money which the directors daughter ( the teacher ) will benefit from most , but now I have talked about it I feel OK. And actually the director encourages me to get mad with the staff - as a kind of Manager , very Non -VSO but probably the only thing you can do here.I was phoned by Saboat (Rangicommon)today to see if I would go on a tele programme on Monday . I said no as I havent talked about it to the Director or my VSO boss,but apparently she has already fixed it up with the director so it seems its going ahead. Note to my self - keep clean until 10am, when the TV men come, on Monday. I am going to be on re. volunteering in Tajikistan. ( I think)Tonight we had the first of the New Season Meeting of the ESPLDC+Mark. He noted that he will not be the lone male for long as Sharon is bringing an assistant back with her ,a Fulbright Scholar called Seth. Anne -marie came back on Wednesday Hurray! and it was lovely to be together again.Forgot to say that we went out with the director to buy some stuff today and I was very suprised when she said that she only gets 400 somonis a month -approx£60. She has responsibility for 135Adults and 85 children. I wasn't just suprised at the amount, I was suprised that she told me.And at last! I have found a blackboard for the new school room. I had no idea where to look and had asked a lot of people who didn't know either. Anyway Mirzo and I were walking along the street on the way to by my flight ticket home( hurray!) and there they were! Fantastic .It's one of the things that I am getting disproportionate pleasure from.22nd August Sunday.I met up with Jeremy, the guy I shared a flat with when we first arrived,last night . He had a placement in a place called Muminibad until he finished in May but he has come back from England and is now working somewhere north of Aini - in a very remote spot. He worked with a girl called Omeda who lives in Khojand when in Muminibad and she asked him to come to stay and the rest of us to come round last night. Hence the next photo.Today Anne-marie Anya and I went for lunch on the river - before going back to her air- conditioned flat and watching BBC World ( bliss) and we were joined by a very welcome but uninvited guest.I'm afraid they took him away but not until he has made us all laugh. As far as I can see Tajik cattle are not Fazed by steps - he had to come down quite a few - and across a kind of gang plank!Bye for now. Pamx