Setting the scene...
on My Thai (Thailand), 24/Dec/2010 05:13, 34 days ago
It amazes me to think that I’ve been in Thailand for over three months now!While it’s easy to say the time has flown by, that doesn’t mean it’s been an easy ride.Now might seem like a bizarre time to begin a blog, having been in-country for the past few months, so let me explain my reasoning a little more...When I was back at home in Manchester, researching my VSO placement offer from the comfort of my sofa, I could find very little information online about other volunteers and their experiences here. The little I did discover about my town involved it being described as‘the armpit of Thailand’.For better or worse the moniker has stuck and, depending on my mood, is either used as a slur or a sign of begrudging attachment.Still, it isn’t possible to describe all the aspects of life here through such a reductive phrase and hopefully I’ll be able to share my own experiences of life in a very Thai town.VSO does its best to prepare volunteers for placements abroad, perhaps too diligently if my memories of the SKWID course serve me right, and from the relative comforts of Harbourne Hall it’s easy to think ‘Oh yeah, I can handle that. Bring it on!’Until I was actually in placement, the warnings of challenges, cultural adjustments and emotional ups and downs meant little but now, over three months in, they are still a constant battle.You hear so many positive stories of volunteers and their‘life changing experiences’ and I’m sure that, looking back, it’s easy to gloss over the nicks and cracks. Even within my few short months there have been many ups and downs – sometimes in the same day or even hour and occasionally riding this VSO ‘rollercoaster’ can make me feel a little nauseous.Still, these are the challenges we accept and we go into it with eyes open.I have been keeping a personal journal while here (I’m a bit old skool that way!) so now seems like a good time to look over the ups and downs of the first few months and share some of the high and low lights with you!7thSeptember 2010Well, after all the panics and dramas there’s now just one week until I leave for Thailand.I’m so up and down at the moment – one second all excitement and ready for whatever’s to come, the next terrified I’ll be lonely, incompetent or anything else that suddenly pops into my head!...I suppose part of the worry is that I really can’t predict what’ll happen until I get there and that’s quite difficult to accept!18thSeptember 2010BangkokI don’t think this city ever sleeps!After the past few days with briefings in the VSO office about the political situation in Burma and its sometimes strained relationship with Thailand, our time was free until the night train to Chiang Mai at 6 o’clock. We decided to visit the Grand palace and Wat Po, taking the Skytrain and then a boat along the river. It was interesting to have that perspective of the city – you really do see the most opulent and pristine high rise blocks side by side with shacks and slums haphazardly patched togetherwith corrugated iron and scraps of wood....the true highlight was the Emerald Buddha (which is actually jade). It’s housed in a temple, every inch of which is painted with intricate murals – knocks the Sistine Chapel, that’s for sure!...having no previous experience of sleeper trains I was expecting a small compartment with prison-style slabs. In reality I was wholly impressed– way better than the flight to Bangkok and only about £18! I woke up around 6 and just spent the rest of the journey staring out of the window. What an amazing view to wake up to – mile after uninterrupted mile of farmland and mountains broken only by small villages here and there. Truly stunning.21stSeptember 2010...Our Thai teacher, Waria, said that ordinarily children spend around 3 months just learning to distinguish between tones (of which there are five– low, middle, high, falling and rising). As our time’s a little more limited we’ll only be spending a few days on them!My fellow newbies...After class I walked to a flower market on the east of the old city. I hadn’t realised quite how far it was and, after the two hours it took me to get there and back, I was coated in a thick film of sweat. Unpleasant!I was surprised by the number of monks I saw walking around. They appear to be of all ages; alone and in groups. Women aren’t allowed to touch them so often I stepped into the road just to avoid them. Having said that, a lot of walking has to be done in the road what with pavements that stop and start abruptly, cars pulling in and parking everywhere and motorbikes careening down them. I never knew walking could be such a risky business! Crossing the road is like dancing with death!23rdSeptember 2010So, more Thai lessons...Already I feel quite proud of the few words I have and it’s amazing how just a little can make such a huge difference.I now appreciate a lot more how the children at school feel when I try to teach them something new and completely alien. How stressful it can feel, how you judge yourself against those around you and, in my case at least, always seem to come up short....feeling a bit crappy and sorry for myself today but want to make the most of all this volunteer company while I can. We’re all together so much at the moment – lessons, food, rooms – that going into placement, at least for me, is going to be an extreme adjustment!27thSeptember 2010So today it was back to Thai class. It’s already getting beyond me after just one week! Not sure my brain can absorb anymore as its trying so hard just to retain the few meagre words it does have!28thSeptember 2010I need to keep reminding myself that I’ve only been learning Thai for one week! Need to stop beating myself up for being crap!30thSeptember 2010Yesterday morning I was in a funny mood– tired, distracted and quiet. It can be difficult living so closely with people all the time. Maybe its just tiredness too – we’ve been so busy over the past two weeks, just snatching the odd hour here and there to ourselves.Anyway! One of the other volunteers came over to talk over motorbikes with us. I won’t be needing one for my placement so the furthest I’ll probably go is riding on the back.The Thais seem to ride from infancy– I’ve seen kids in school uniforms of about 12 riding them, even though I’m told the legal age is 18. I’ve seen people on mobiles, people with umbrellas, people eating, passengers riding side saddle and very few helmets!...Felt much better in Thai class today. Waria is dropping all the words we’ve covered into her conversation and even just being able to recognise the odd word or two is really satisfying...I’m still piss poor at constructing coherent sentences though!7thOctober 2010I’m becoming a bit narky and anti-social. Have taken to eating obscene quantities of Oreos! Missing people a little.Yesterday I walked to Airport Plaza to try and break the funk– turns out trying on Thai clothes ain’t much of an ego boost!...I owe a massive debt to these Thai lessons though.As an adult I’d forgotten how it felt to learn. If we do choose to pursue something new it’s generally out of choice rather than necessity.I keep on thinking about the children I taught back home and appreciating how they must feel at times.3 weeks of intensive doodlingin Thai classListening to other volunteers conversing in Thai today I felt a sudden wave of panic and, as always, compare my progress with that of others in the class. Then I thought of one boy in my class back home and how sometimes it’s just easier to switch off and shut down because it all seems so insurmountable and you just don’t know where to begin!I feel these few weeks have given me so much insight into the learning process and the feelings and fears that children can face.16thOctober 2010So it’s all been a bit of a rush but I’ve left Chiang Mai a few days early to attend a youth camp run by my organisation.I actually got quite choked up on leaving. I know we’ve only known each other a month but we’ve spent so much time together and I think it’s about the circumstances too as I know I’m about to become pretty isolated....After being picked up by a few people from my organisation in Bangkok, we drove to Ratchaburi where the youth camp was to be held. Bed for the night was a classroom floor shared with around 15 other people. I had a grey flannel sheet below and above me and woke up with more bites than I’ve ever seen on one person before! That was the first night, the next night I saw a mouse run across the room while I was lying in ‘bed’. After looking around for a few minutes, the response from one of the women in the room was ‘Mai bpen rai!’ Yeah, no worries!During the day the children worked in activity groups on issues such as health and human trafficking.I guess it’s good for me to have firsthand experience of what it’s like living and working through a second language but I felt really isolated – on the outside with no connection to what was going on. I even noticed how I was seating myself – on the edge of the bench, by the door in the room – on the outskirts all the time.And just when things are getting tough and looking bleak, something unexpected lifts the spirits...The kids all went back to the main hall in the evening and were blindfolded by the older volunteers. Stood in a circle, each was handed a candle lit from a single flame. Scattered around the corners of the room were bottles, lit from wicks and burning in the dark. While half of me was screaming‘Health and safety!’ and ‘Risk assessments!’ the other half was marvelling at the beauty and calmness of it all.17thOctober 2010I feel like I’m veering between leper and celebrity at the moment! Some of the children and adults just stare at me while some are desperate to have their pictures taken with me!VSO did warn us about all that but it’s different to experience it firsthand.Prime example:There have been a couple of guys with a video camera all weekend. Today they approached me and asked to interview me. So ok,‘mai bpen rai’ and all that, but it was after my second night on a classroom floor with around 5 hours of sleep, hair scraped back and a face ravaged by mosquitoes. There really is no room for vanity here!I was trying to talk to a few of the children earlier. One started pointing at my arm saying‘Kaow, kaow, kaow’. I know it can mean ‘rice’ but it depends on the accent right, so there are four or five different possible meanings. I’m hopeful it was ‘white’ rather than ‘fishy smell’ but until I find a farang bathroom and shower, there’s really no way of knowing!19thOctober 2010So, yesterday I would say the main thing I learnt was about Thai time-keeping!20thOctober 2010Back in Samut Sakhon and, on first impressions, the town seems bigger than I’d expected.I spoke to the AVI volunteer who’s been here for around 6 months now. He’s very negative about his placement and it’s really hard to hear that for me just going in. He’s about to head home for a visa run and I don’t think he’ll be back...not a good sign! I need to remember than my experience isn’t his experience butit’s hard to put what he said to one side and not let it influence me. He feels there’s been little effort to integrate him socially and has come up against a lot of resistance to change....Not been feeling too well the past few days. I think sleeping on the floor has done me in. I’m obviously not made of as stern stuff as the Thais – they sleep on the floor with no problems! Looking forward to getting into my apartment and having my own little sanctuary!28thOctober 2010Had my Employer Workshop today with my line manager here and a member of the VSO Education team.I’d read before coming that Thai schools use a lot of rote learning but that the children are very well behaved and don’t ever question the teachers (which, while it might seem like the ideal world at times, is not a good thing!).The way the Learning Centre has been described to me is a million miles away from that! I’ve been told the children run around shouting and that I’ll see teachers shouting and even using corporal punishment to gain their attention. There are around 200 children and, due to the nature of their parents’ factory work, many just come and go. It must be challenging to constantly face these changes.The aim is that the children, who are all Burmese or Mon, will learn enough of the Thai language to pass a test gaining them entry into the attached state school.I’ve come away feeling somewhat better now I have a clearer vision of what they’re after. It’ll be good to get into the school next week and actually see it in action.I also talked to VSO about the difficulties I’ve had getting to know people at work. I was told more about the Thai attitude – better not to do something at all than try and get it wrong. That includes speaking to me, obviously!In today’s other news, there’s another Thai teacher starting here in the next day or two called Lek. She’ll be teaching Thai and English language. It’ll be great to have another person to talk to and it’ll be interesting to see what she makes of it here.30thOctober 2010So, here’s the deal...I read a bit of a fellow volunteer’s blog yesterday. He was describing how he’d been feeling homesick and finding it hard to settle and accept where he was.He was then speaking to a few of the people he works with and hearing some amazing stories about their lives and what they’ve endured. Yet, despite this, they’re still committed to helping others and putting their needs before their own.So, I gave myself yesterday to bitch and moan and now I’m going to pull myself together and focus on the positives.In an attempt to get all the frustration out, here are some of the complaints I came up with:·      I’m sick of the stares I get wherever I go and the random shouts of ‘farang’·      I live next door to a live music bar that has a repertoire of about 5 different songs!·      I live next to the main lorry route into town·      I hate mosquitoes·      Samut Sakhon smells of fish·      No one I work with wants to talk to me·      I feel isolated·      My laptop’s been out of action for 3 weeks·      I’m disappointed that people haven’t been more welcoming·      My longest conversation at work yesterday lasted about 2 minutes·      It hot all the time and I feel constantly grimy·      BBC World Service reception sucks!And in an attempt to be more positive, here are my silver linings:·      I get to swim in a beautiful open air pool for 30 Baht a time·      The new teacher at works speaks enough English for me to have actual conversations!·      I now have an apartment, a bed and lovely spotty sheets·      I’ll hopefully get my laptop back today·      I’m going to buy and attempt to play a ukulele·      I’ll get to see the school and children on Monday·      I get to visit Mae Sot next weekend for a VSO workshop·      I have lovely people at home, most of whom I’ve completely taken for granted, who care about me even though I’m many miles away·      I get to travel·      I’ve been given a unique opportunity to support others·      There’s a vegetarian place about 100 yards from my front door with a lovely owner·      I’m not alone in finding these adjustments hard – there’s reassurance in that2ndNovember 2010Monday was the first day at school after their term break.Completely different to education in England but I feel more positive now I know there are things I can work on and ideas I can implement.So I took the organisation’s bus at 7am. Along with another bus and several pickups, it collects all the migrant children who attend the Learning Centre or attached Thai school. There were around 50 kids on my bus and it was a real crush getting them all on! We finally arrived at the school an hour later.It’s smaller than I expected but takes children from 5 up to 15, which is the end of compulsory education here.The Learning Centre is a small building between two others belonging to the state school. It’s been divided into 3 rooms with plywood partitions that reach about 6 feet off the ground. The roof is high and open and the amount of noise that travels during lessons is astounding! I honestly don’t know how the children concentrate or the teachers make themselves heard!So, they all go for assembly first which involves, among other things, singing the national anthem and raising the Thai flag.After that there is a rigorous uniform check– belts, earrings and hair seem to be a priority! It’s uniform in the most literal sense!The rooms are split by Thai ability and there are 5 groups within the 3 rooms.The children talk throughout the lessons, throw things, play fight, run around, walk over chairs, copy work, read comics and it all goes uncommented on. They’re not badly behaved children as I’d been told; they just haven’t been given any boundaries.14thNovember 2010So last weekend I was in Mae Sot and I was pretty excited about getting out of‘the armpit’ for a few days!I headed into Bangkok and was overwhelmed by the number of farangs there...it’s only an hour away from Samut Sakhon where I get stared at daily for being a foreigner!It was a really good opportunity to meet the other Education volunteers and it’s good for them to have such a strong network of support within such a small town.Some of them have lovely houses and now, writing this while listening to the ceaseless rise and fall of passing trucks, pickups and motorbikes, it makes me a little jealous to think of how quiet and peaceful it was there in the evenings!I’d come away feeling more positive and was reassured by most of the volunteers describing how it had taken them anywhere from 3 to 6 months to settle in and gain momentum.16thNovember 2010Rode the bike to school and it only took about 20 minutes! Still, this is meant to be‘winter’ and I was sweating up a storm by the time I got there (which Lek took great pleasure in pointing out!). Need to find a more dignified way to ride a bike in a skirt!So, I taught my first official lesson today!The two main challenges, I think, were working through an interpreter and the children not being very vocal in group situations.It’s funny working through an interpreter though – I’m totally dependent on her for so much information and, in terms of how successful my placement will be, she has a lot of power...better stay on her good side!18thNovember 2010In the Employer Workshop it was agreed that I would model good practice and I can’t do that without a translator. Often she’s unable to leave her own room as there are frequent staff absences so, for this week, we’ve taught 2 of the planned 5 lessons. It’s frustrating.23rdNovember 2010So on Saturday I rode into Mahachai and took the ferry that crosses the water to Tha Chalom. It took just a few minutes and most of the motorbike drivers left their engines running on the journey across.It’s nice over there – quieter and slower than Mahachai. I rode around the ‘fisherman’s village’ but, to be honest, was getting really frustrated with all the people shouting out ‘farang’ as I passed.On Sunday I took the bus into Bangkok. A rickety old thing, it broke down on a highway overpass and we all had to wait on the hard shoulder until another passed...eventually made it there after about 2 hours!6thDecember 2010After a weekend in Bangkok visiting JJ market (amazing) and Siam Paragon (shopping mecca) I’ve finally managed to talk to my organisation about my initial report and the suggestions I’ve made for my placement. Despite being asked if I could have a curriculum completed within 2 weeks, it was mostly successful and I feel I can finally get going!12thDecember 2010What a great few days!So on Saturday morning I packed and headed into Bangkok via motorbike taxi and minivan. I timed it this time and made it from my apartment to the BTS at Victory Monument in under an hour. Then I went to meet Esther and her sister– not seen her in about 8 years and, after the first few awkward minutes, it was like old times! Went back to the amazing JJ and then had a beautiful meal on Esther as an early birthday present – result! It was so lovely to catch up with her and I guess that’s the measure of a real friend –if you can just pick up where you left off, however long it’s been. Still, was slightly less enthusiastic about her text a few days later saying how we’d ‘both aged’! She can speak for herself!Then on Sunday it was the visa run to Vientiane in Laos.For a capital it’s so small and as far away from Bangers as you could get!After one wholly unsuccessful and one more promising visit to the Thai Embassy, I headed out of town to Buddha Park, the concrete Madame Tussauds of the Buddha world, situated on the banks of the Mekong.I’m knackered now – having walked to the Embassy and back again, walked to Vientiane’s concrete Arc De Laos, got lost in the midday heat and walked to That Louang. Gave in and tuk-tuk’d it back but got majorly ripped off in the process!Can’t decide whether Vientiane is shabby chic or shabby shabby but I like it, either way.22ndDecember 2010I’ve finally finishedShantaram! In my opinion it’s massively overrated and overlong and the main character (and author) is a bit of a twat. Still, it was worth it for the final paragraph which, at the moment, really speaks to me:                For this is what we do.     Put one foot forward and then the other. Lift our eyes to the snarl and smile of the world      once more. Think. Act. Feel. Add our little consequenceto the tides of good and evil that      flood and drain the world. Drag our shadowed crosses into the hope of another night. Push      our brave hearts intothe promise of a new day.