...in which I whine and moan
on My Thai (Thailand), 06/Jan/2011 15:01, 34 days ago
I feel (and look!) like Tom Hanks inCastaway.It’s like I have so little human contact at work that when it does come I’m totally unprepared and unable to react in any kind of coherent manner!Back at home I would often try to escape for a bit of time alone but here it’s the other extreme.Let’s face it, I’ve never been the most loquacious or socially adept of people but here I’m sinking to new lows!Coming from a classroom environment, where managing to sit down for 10 minutes in the day is a major achievement, I’m finding that days in the office really drag.And that’s putting it mildly!I’m here as ‘Migrant Education Advisor’ which sounds very grand but don’t let that fool you! After a month observing in the Learning Centre, days of furious scribbling in my notebook (in capitals, no less) and internal huffs and puffs aplenty, I was definitely in that stage VSO describes as idealising everything back home and ‘the wayIdo things’.I wrote a report of what I thought was achievable within my time here which VSO very kindly translated for me. In the subsequent meeting to discuss this, it was agreed that my first point of focus would be developing a basic curriculum as, at present, the teachers just come in and wing it on a daily basis.Having been asked if I could have the curriculum ready‘in two weeks time’, I am now here two months later within finishing distance of one level of one subject’s scheme of work.Anyway, getting back on track, four of my five days are now spent in the office working on this.I am not made for office work! I guess the little bits I’ve done in the past have been bearable because I’d be able to pass the time chit chatting and gossiping with those around me.Here I’m lucky if I get one nod of the head all day. Thank goodness for BBC radio, that’s all I can say; it’s as close to a conversation as I come, most days!There are only one or two people at work who seem comfortable to speak to me and, generally, it’s when I initiate a conversation rather than the other way around. I don’t want to put people in an uncomfortable position and force them to speak to me and I guess I’ve sort of accepted the situation now but its difficult being surrounded by people and feeling so lonely. Hopefully in time and little by little things will change.I think the situation would be ok if I had fellow volunteers or friends here to meet with and offload to at the end of the day, but being solo means things tend to get bottled up and fester. I thought I spied a farang yesterday but I think now it was just a mirage!Then some days I’ll sit there and write it off as another long day in solitary confinement before there’s a sudden burst of Thai-lish communication.Like today, there were some visitors in the office and the Director suddenly asked if I wanted to join them all for lunch. Now this honour hasn’t occurred since my honeymoon period (which ended about a fortnight after my arrival!). I was so taken aback I mumbled something along the lines of ‘Whuu?’ before being told by someone else not to go as I had to head to the school instead.The last day I spent in school, happily putting up a display, my iPod was swiped from my bag.I was really disappointed more than anything else. Being around the children is the most satisfying thing about this placement and, even though we have little language in common, I manage to interact and communicate so much more with them than most adults in the office. They’re so accepting of my presence and interested in whatever it is I’m doing. I was upset that even one of them would think so little of me as to do that but I guess it fits in with the general impression that farangs have money.So a couple of the staff spoke to the children in the Learning Centre today and I was very grateful they took the time to do that, although I’m not optimistic about it reappearing!The only consolation is that they’ll be stuck listening to my music taste, which doesn’t really fit with popular Thai favourites such ashttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpXKxhsyaug&playnext=1&list=PLA9EFE4BB0A06994E&index=4orhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dAyszTDdVAThen, back at the office, I rounded the day off by chatting to the interpreter, who normally teaches at the school.I guess I need to be thankful for those days and use them to balance out the rest. Hopefully, as the staff get more used to my presence, there’ll be more of them to come.