Gourmet Goat
on Colm in Kenya (Kenya), 10/Aug/2009 07:38, 34 days ago
“Let’s do a goat tonight” Anthony, one of my Kenyan friends said to me Saturday afternoon. It's been a while but has it come to this I thought.  “Do a goat?” “Yeah, we’ll get some beers and eat it theMasaiway”“Oh eat it. TheMasaiway. Yeah definitely. Lets do that” TheMasaiway, I say it like I know exactly what he’s talking about – Of course, theMasaiway- BeefCasserolecooked theMasaiWay from theTescoFinest collection.  No flies on me.SoSaturdaynight 8 o’clock, I’m off to eat a goat somewhere about 15 minutes away fromMnarani, off the main road and close to the beach.Beside a small completely unspectacular cottage, not to far from the middle of no where, we gather around a small table waiting for ourMasaifriends (NdishuandLogisa– I met them at a couple of parties before, good guys) to finish preparing the animal for consumption.I can hear the ocean dancing on the beach somewhere past thethickishbush, but cant make out much else in the darkness. After a short waitLogisa, complete with hisMasai‘get-up’ drops a plate of soft, squishy goat, layered in a strange slippery sauce in the shadows in front of us.My fellow diners dig in followed cautiously by me.Feigning complete comfort I eat what tastes like so-so lamb with a strong meat sauce.  TheMasaiWay– probably wont make the Finest collectionafter allbut’s its not bad. Sam, a research scientist with a huge personality, chuckles and says to me“As much as I love the taste goat cooked in blood, I know I’ll be sitting on the toilet from about 6am tomorrow”Whoa,whoa. Back up the truck Conor. “Blood?” I ask. He surely meansBistofolks, it’sok.AhhhBisto!“Yeah, it’s the way theMasaieat goat. The take out it’s stomach and organs, burst the Gall Bladder over it and cook it. TheMasaiWay - with blood” he smiles. That’s twice he said blood instead ofBisto.Chege, a dentist adds to this“Don’t worry, the bloodisn'tbad for you, it’s just your stomach might react badly to it and we’ll be shitting ourselves all morning”. He laughs and takes some goat.The part of my brain that isresponsiblefor thinking about the future has just burst into flames. My stomach is cantankerous at the best of times, it’s going to be in an awful strop being forced to accept this.“Ha..h-h-ha, ha. So this is what Gall Bladder sauce tastes like” looking at the small piece of squishy meatsqueezedbetween my thumb and fingers– “It’s nice. Goat blood, it’s nice. Ha h-ha h-ha”Like fuck it is– it’s bloody horrible, if you can possibly excuse thatappallingpun, but it is. Scrap what I said earlier. Not wanting to offend I eat some more, but swallow each piece down with a half a bottle of beer. I washed quite a bit down with beer and vodka…when you’re eatinggoatmeat in blood sauce, you don’t have to worry too much about a hangover.  You may as well be killed for a sheep then for a lamb..or goat. True to form my bowls threw the rattle out of the cot completely onSundaymorning. It did so on several occasions.I’m done with goats. And blood. Vodka and Beer are stillokthough!