Welcome! We make tear gas
on Colm in Kenya (Kenya), 04/Mar/2010 12:07, 34 days ago
LastFridaymorning we set out on a journey toKambaset deep within the rolling dusty hills ofKalolenidistrict. Sitting in the front seat with our driver and just outsideKilifi, he turns to me with a wink and says that we’re not going to follow our guide in the car ahead but take our own ‘shortcut’ and nodded towards the car in front:“He says he knows a better way. But that guy, even his liesaren'ttrue!"It’s going to be a long eventful day.The reason for our‘Alice inKaloleni’ type journey toKamba’s Chiefs Camp, was a Farming as a Business Trade Fair for farmers in the district.We went to present our Business Training and Counselling service complete with snazzy new SCOPEBDSbrochure and flier.We were meant to leave at 8. We left at 9:45.Our journey was meant to take little over an hour. It took us nearly two and half.We were meant to be back for 3. We got back at 6.Our shortcut was meant to be straightforward. It was not.Patience is needed for these journeys.Something I don’t have in abundance.Anyway, after 45 minutes of Bump!Jump! driving on this shortcut where left and right turns were taken with disconcerting frivolity, we stopped at a small village and asked an oldMzeefor directions. His answer was almost worth trip alone!“Oh you cannot even celebrate yet, you are still very far. Just keep on driving down that road and after a while, ask for more directions”Who needs aGarmin?So after another hour and half ofbouncingdeep into the interior including a detour up a hillside donkey path that not even the most foolhardy donkey would take, we arrived aKamba’s chief camp (Of course we were late but not late.In factwe were early.I don’t understand either).There were maybe 300 people at the eventvisitingstands (tables) which housed an array of exhibitors. All of which had an interesting story to tell.One such tale came from the Kenya Coconut stand who explained to me that despite Kenya having a huge stock ofcoconut–Kambaand much ofKaloleniand indeedKilifiare covered in huge archingcoconuttrees that stretch toward the blue sky– in most of Kenya’s supermarkets they sellcoconutshavings fromIndonesiaor the Philippines.Kenya has huge tea, coffee and horticulture farming.Kenyan politicians own huge tea, coffee and horticulture businesses.Nopoliticianowns a Coconut business.Another group of local women who had developed they’re own successful bakery business despite their rural location. And another who Demonstrated how investing in relatively cheap machinery can help farmers to add-value to their produce.We met and visited pig farmers and their pigs.Talked about issues, better farming practices, marketing and business planning.It was great stuff.But the best stall of all was a group from Nairobi who help farmers set up red-chilifarms by giving away free seeds and information to help farmers set-up .No children were allowed near thechilistall for the little brown seeds are kinda caustic– I touched them and it does make the skin sizzle a bit. I kept my hands out of my pockets for the rest of the day.So anyway, after planting the seeds, a nursery is created, the plants are taken from their pots and then hung on a wire from tree to tree.The result is a crop of tiny pea sized lipstick redchili’s after just three months.TheChiligroup then come to collect thechili’s and sell them to firm who make Tear Gas! From the riotous streets of Tehran, to Anfield and wherever Liverpool fans go and a very special delivery to Northern Ireland in July all from the shambas of Kaloleni. I almost cried with pride - or was that the chili seeds?I lovechilifarmers. They always tell a good story and showed me some great huge Bullet Chilis - great lovely green, yellow and red pills of volcanic fodder.It took us nearly 3 hours to get home toKilifithat evening.We were about an hour from home when we again met our guide who waited for us so he could take us the‘fast’ way. The ‘fast way’ led us 40 minutes back the way we came! My Kenyan colleagues who are blessed withincrediblepatience laughed this off as an adventure.I wanted to tear gas the fxxker!Covered in dust and sweat, exhausted and full of gin (I stopped off in the pub for some much needed alcohol) I went to bed a dreamt of pigs,coconuts, dusty hills, bumpy roads and tear gas.Another wonderfully eventful day in Kenya.